THIS year I found out I was pregnant with our fourth and final baby, due in December.
It was a scary time finding out we were gonna be welcoming another baby into the family. I had constant health issues, I found myself in and out of hospital due to gallbladder attacks and I was suffering emotionally with severe anxiety disorder. To be honest, I wasn't even sure how my body would cope during this pregnancy.
In the June of 2018, a few months into my pregnancy, I decided I was gonna do something completely crazy, completely out of my comfort zone and completely daring. I decided I wanted to film my birth on Instagram LIVE.
I want to do this to fight my the personal battles I've been facing. I've been on and off medication since early 2017 trying to treat my anxiety, I've spent three years hiding away from the world and isolating myself from friends and family. I've spent so long worrying about what people thought. I'm gonna beat this! I'm done living my life in such a way, this affects everyone in my family. So I started an Instagram account to bring awareness to mental health and I made plans to go live in December and film my birth.
Three months into this journey, I have an incredible following and amazing support group. I can feel myself coming out of my shell already. I spend lots of time using my stories to express how I'm feeling and raising awareness. We are 15 weeks away from my birth and while it will be very discreet it will be a very emotional time for myself and for those people I've built relationships with on Instagram.
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Inspired. No longer hiding. Showing you all of me. Pregnant and vulnerable . As a women I look up to so much quoted #confidenceiscontagious . It sure bloody is! 1 year ago I wouldn’t of dared taken a photo like this. Exposing myself. Anxiety holding me back from so much. Afraid to be judged , afraid people wouldn’t like me, afraid people would call me names. 25 weeks pregnant and flaunting every single curve I have right now and rocking it! Our bodies are beautiful, pregnant , not pregnant , skinny , curvy , black , white, we are all unique and beautiful in our own way. To be able to post this is such a huge step for me. It’s so revealing but in a non sexual way, I’m showing you my baby body changing and growing a life..... my stretch marks, my blotchy skin and my cellulite. This is what makes me who I am . This is my body this very second. I will forever have this pictures to look back on and remember that time I came out of my shell and was no longer afraid . I still have an incredible 15 weeks left and I cannot wait to share more of my growing and changing body with you all. It’s a miracle .... it’s courageous and it’s fucking beautiful!! 🖤 . . . P.s I have knickers on they are hidden under my giant belly 😂❤️. #aussiemumbloggers #bodyconfidence #styleandcurve #pregnant #25weeks #miracleoflife @kidspot
I'm getting a new lease on life. I'm making new friends and I'm getting to share an incredible experience with so many people who I will continue to have a close connection with after this is all over with.
I decided that although I'm choosing to air my birth live on Instagram, I would keep certain things private. I will not be showing myself pushing, however, everything else will be filmed and shown - including contractions at home and in the hospital, our trip to the hospital and off course all the moments leading up the actual pushing stage.
It's such an exciting time! At first, I wasn't sure if I could actually do this but with the love and support from my amazing family and my incredible followers, I know that I can and will do this. I'm gonna face my anxiety head on and hopefully never look back.
This originally appeared on Kidspot and has been republished with permission.